Haha! Father Phillip, you make my day! At last year’s MOM PROM, Cor (where I just passed out name tags…Can’t wait until little Donny’s a Senior so he can take his mother out on real a date!) I couldn’t tell if Father Phillip here was just in a dance-y mood or flirting with me! The way you moved! 75 and you can still cut a rug! I tell you Father, you can cut this rug any day of the week.

What? You like my hair…oh! And my skirt? Yes, it is new! Thank you! No one’s noticed. Ha! Well, maybe I can wear it to one of your van parties you always take the other moms on. What? You know! The van parties! Don’t play dumb with good ol’ Cheryl, Father. I live behind the school, and I see EVERYTHING! Every Tuesday, you get all dressed up and take the bookstore moms out for dinner or something. They’re all dressed up too. And then you come home alone in a different van- yeah, and- What? How many people saw what? Oh… Oh! I see, now that I’ve busted those lovely chops of yours you want me to tag along now. Hah! Well, you’ll have to do a better than that to win me over! I’ve seen you with hundreds of moms over the years and- OH!
– Well, bye, Father!

That was weird. Well, he certainly looks HEALTHY! I wonder if he still works out at the Y. When he married Frankie and I, Father Phillip was the spitting image of Gregory Peck. At the reception he gave me a couple congratulatory smooches on the neck, and I said, “Peck away, Father!” Haha! Now he looks so old, the boys call Phillip “Father Free Day,” because they think he’ll drop dead at any moment, and the boys will get the day off from school. Isn’t that terrible? It’s a nice way to be remembered though.

Wow, I just can’t put Madame Bovary down! I was reading for the last few minutes before Father Phil walked up so I didn’t hear most of what you just said. “Sorry, my B!” as Donny would say. But you have i-Everything? I might have to borrow one of your iPods so I can get Bovary on tape and listen to it in the bathtub. Some of it is getting AWFULLY STEAMY! I mean, the narrator doesn’t say it explicitly, but the husband and wife, Mrs. Bovary, first touch at her home while she’s bending down to get something…and their sex-life must be JUST wild after that! I think she’ll be a pretty content woman with an “experienced” doctor (he was married once before, you know. And that must have taught him a few things. Not like some people who take their first swing on the wedding night. UUUGgghhhhhhh…Ffff…). I wonder if Kenneth Branagh reads it. He always revs up my engine.

Corinne, are you crying?